Thursday, January 15, 2009

Stop me in Belize

It's 20 degrees in the morning sun here on the Chesapeake. A light dusting of snow covers the ground around me as I look out the window I remember thinking "the air has frozen and fallen to the ground in little white piles" and I go back to sleep
I decided not to go to my regular office today, and go to check out some abandoned vehicles my friend has. I wind up with a 05 Altima, a Chevy Dump truck, and a Buick with the front bashed in. while moving these cars around I start up an old Marquis and it is full of gas. He throws it in too, which is good because I can drive it till it's empty, and then use the 302 engine in a powerboat I'm selling to pay for the Aleutka Sailboat

When we went to lunch, I extol the virtues of what I think life would be like in a tropical paradise

We were trying to think of a way of
life where work is fun and everybody is excited by the new day

M sister started this , when in a contemplative moment she stated that she and her girlfriend dreamt of a beachfront bar in Costa Rica

My first thought was of course, "what's this girl look like?"
and then I thought, "what about my brother in law and the kids?"
just doesn't fit the lifestyle you know.

however maybe I could squeeze the money together and get it started and then roll out when she wanted to take it over, I'm assuming that would be however long the divorce took and the kids grow up...

I would be glad to stay with her friend as long as she didn't get too attached. I really am done with the whole wife and kids thing myself- It just doesn't work for some people

Any way my friend wants to buy an airport in Pa. I said why buy one in PA when one in a tropical Paradise probably costs the same, and if the airport Idea doesn't take off(pun intended) you still have a piece of ground in a tropical paradise

I may have reached him, I'll let you know

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Ice glaze on the world

An ice storm covered the Mid-Atlantic this morning, glazing ,encrypting and holding this world right where I need to remember it
I woke up late this morning, deep in sleep I struggled to reach the Phone, screaming for my attention. why do I even answer it - it is rude. It interrupts conversations, plays loud sounds in movie theatres, and even frequently disturbs a tender moment when all is good.
I should be awake, the caller says- but no, they forgot I have been Ill lately.
I was dreaming , I was on the water, alone.
Sailing following the song of the wind over the waves, gentle lapping calling for my soul song to sing out this is real, this is life, find me and take me to the furthest shore!
I sought refuge in my solitude and the incessant ringing brought me back to this world.
the Land of Broken Dreams
where your house was just another foreclosure, a payment away from being a home, freedom as attainable as the wind through your open hands, the ones you call your family live beyond your mournful grasp,and you wonder why you bother with the next payment
a payment from your heart full of blood and tears and sweat
but it's a payment on someone Else's debt and the interest is killing you
because it's not what you want anymore
it's really not what you ever wanted
It's a dream they sold me when I was too young to know better
in a time when love was special and lasted forever and a day
before you were revealed to be as the Romans said "monstros, horribile in aspectum"
before you discovered the truth about life and survival in the world was less like a jungle
Ne amo te Sabide, nec possum dicere qua re.

now I see my only escape is to get away
I heard the sea call before
but I only came to the beach
and run in fear like a child when the waves crested above my small learning
for years I have ignored the sirens and their deadly call, but when the fear of staying as I am
surpasses the fear of finding true life I will sail into the eye of the Hurricane and therein find my solitary peace

Sunday, January 4, 2009

New Year New Dreams


This is the tale of one man's travel into unrealistic dreams in yet another attempt at avoiding a real midlife crisis
There is an ancient chinese curse "may you live in interesting times"
My life to this point has been full of interesting times.
I don't know that this counts as a real midlife crisis, because I already had that at the age of 27 when I bought my first "real" motorcycle and joined a bunch of crazy bikers in in a reign of terror which lasted well into my second marriage.
I now find myself yearning for the freedom I thought I had found in those wild rides and decided the only real freedom left in the world is on the open sea.
To that end I purchased a worn out twin keel sailboat on fEePay and will spend the next three years readying it and myself for a tour of the Atlantic seaboard.
I have never sailed
I do not speak Spanish
And yet I am driven ever onward
"There is no rest for the wicked"